


Who are you?

by 01_WishfulThinking_10



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Phoenix Drop High, aphmau - Fandom, mystreet
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Advice, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anonymity, Art, Canon Universe, Chatting & Messaging, Confusion, Cookies, Digital Art, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Phoenix Drop High - Freeform, chatfic, or actually its more enemies to friends to enemies to lovers but you'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-01-19 00:25:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12399327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/01_WishfulThinking_10/pseuds/01_WishfulThinking_10
Summary: Chatfic set in Phoenix drop high.Zane tells Kawaii~Chan about his problems and she eventually does the samethough, of course, they don't know who each other is. until Kawaii~Chan figures out it's Zane and leaves him guessing...





	1. Answer me. Please.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [effusive (is that the word?)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11364030) by [watfordbird33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watfordbird33/pseuds/watfordbird33). 



> my first chatfic so give me plenty of feedback!  
> Bold=Zane  
> Italics=Kawaii~Chan
> 
> /Warnings for terrible online safety and (very occasional) swearing/

{10:39 am 24th August} PM between _0555678903 and 4559603221_

 

_OMG! you will not believe what just happened!!! \\(^o^)/_

 

 

**No, I don’t think I will as I’m pretty sure you have the wrong number.**

 

 

_this isnt Katelyn? (•~•)?_

 

 

**No**

 

 

_So Sorry!!_

 

 

 

 

{9:47pm 28th September} PM between _0555678903 and 4559603221_

 

**I know we both kind of silently acknowledged that we wouldn't continue conversation but I kind of need to do something.**

 

 

_uh k...?_

 

 

**May I... vent?**

 

 

_huh?_

 

 

**I just...**

 

**Ugh forget it. It was a stupid idea anyway. Bye.**

 

 

_no! wait! um..._

 

_what did you mean...?_

 

 

**...**

 

**I just wanted to... talk about stuff that I just really wanna get of my chest. I dunno, it just kinda felt safer to say it to someone I don't even know which is completely ridiculous now that I think about it.**

 

 

_no no... i get it_

_anonymity and stuff rite?_

 

 

**...**

 

**yeah**

 

**is that ok?**

 

 

_ok_

 

 

**you don't have to read it or anything, I just wanna tell someone because it's driving me crazy**

 

**um, ok, just give me a moment to type everything out**

 

 

_yep_

 

 

 

 

 

{9:59pm 28th September} PM between _0555678903 and 4559603221_  

 

**I'm the middle brother of 3. My older brother is popular, 'prince charming' type handsome, supposedly 'nice' and 'good'. he gets all the girls he wants (well almost) and he is the captain of one of my schools sport teams. his grades are good, he volenteers to help out teachers. my parents literally couldn't be prouder. especially my dad.**

**My younger brother is the product of an affair my mother had. that whole thing is over and my parents have moved on about it. except that my dad has no expectation for him. he gets away with so much more than i could ever. I've heard him talk about travelling the world when he's older, 'living free' or whatever he said. if i so much as mentioned that, my father would scorn me, talking of 'responsibilites' and 'family buisness'. on top of that, hes really smart, he got into my dream school a year early after i failed the etrance exam.**

**my father has expectations for me to be as good as my older brother yet even when i achieve any of them, he doesn't seem to care because my brother has already done it. i've learn tnot to try and be what i'm not anymore, but i culd use a little encouragmet every now and then. iyt's jsut so frustratig.**

 

**...**

 

**Excuse every spelling mistake and uncapitalised 'I' then, I was typing... quickly.**

 

**Uhm, thanks for letting me do that even though I seriously doubt you read it.**

 

 

_i read it_

 

 

**oh**

 

 

_i want to say 2 things the 2nd one is a question_

 

 

**Um... shoot?**

 

 

_firstly_

 

_i kinda get where ur coming from_

 

 

**you do?**

 

**...**

 

**ok**

 

**uh, what's the question?**

 

 

_is_

 

_um_

 

_maybe i shudnt..._

 

 

**it's fine. I guess I owe you for actually bothering to listen to my nonsense.**

 

***read**

 

**(or... you know what I mean)**

 

**and I hate owing people so just ask**

 

 

_k_

 

_uh_

 

_this is gonna be embarassing if u say no_

 

 

**Just ask it already, you're making me nervous.**

 

 

_OK!_

 

_..._

 

_are you Zane Ro'Maeve?_

 

 

 

 

{10:23pm 28th September} PM between _0555678903 and 4559603221_

 

_r u there?_

 

 

 

{8:19am 30th September} PM between _0555678903 and 4559603221_

 

**Who are you.**

 

 

_..._

 

 

**How did you know my name.**

 

 

_..._

 

 

**Answer.**

 

 

**Please.**

 

 

 

 

{5:01pm 30th September} PM between _0555678903 and 4559603221_

 

_i go to ur school_

 

_i_

 

_id rather not tell u who i am_

 

 

**That's hardly fair.**

 

 

_its not my fault u decided to spill ur life story to me_

 

_..._

 

_sorry_

 

_i shouldnt have said anything_

 

_look ull probs be embarrassed if i tell u and treat me worse than u already do_

 

 

**Oh god. you're not...**

 

 

_im not who?_

 

 

**Aphmau...?**

 

 

_no!!_

 

_no_

 

_im not her_

 

_i know her_

 

_but im not her_

 

 

**phew?**

 

 

_¯\\_(•~•)_/¯_

 

 

**What is with those faces you send?**

 

 

_o_

 

_i thought they were cute_

 

 

**I mean, I guess.**

 

**but you stopped sending them once you realised I wasn't... Katelyn?**

 

 

_o yea_

 

_i..._

 

_it doesn't matter_

 

 

**Uh, ok.**

 

**...**

 

**Are you a freshman?**

 

 

_T_T_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for clarification, this is set in PDH S1, but will eventually progress into S2.  
> So, in this chapter, they are freshmen in the same homeroom. 
> 
> Ok, thanks for reading!  
> This is my first ever chatfic (it will occasionally have portions not in chat btw) so tell me how I'm going! 
> 
> Loads of love, 
> 
> ~Wishful


	2. Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zane struggles to solve the mystery of his anonymous friend's identity

{10:43am 2nd October} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (argh)_

 

**What's a synonym for feeling mildly annoyed or cheated?**

 

 

_miffed?_

 

 

**I'm miffed**

 

**You want to know why?**

 

 

_uh ok?_

 

 

**Well, you know when you get messaged by someone who thinks you're someone else and then you decide to voice your struggles and annoyances to them and then they figure out who you are because of that and don't tell you their identity in return?**

 

 

_thats the worst rite?_

 

 

 

**Indeed**

 

 

 

_Ugh_

 

_fine_

 

_ONE question_

 

_1 very unspecific question_

 

 

**Hmmm…**

 

**Name one primary colour that your hair coincides with**

 

 

_wtf_

 

 

**You did say unspecific**

 

**Though, in hindsight, if your hair is brown or black, I may have just asked a worthless question.**

 

 

_…_

 

_red_

 

_And coz i feel bad 4 u_

 

_my hair is a 'naturally unnatural' colour_

 

 

**Ok. So I've narrowed it down. 75% of the school could be you**

 

**Or…**

 

**Is it ok to assume you're a female?**

 

 

 

_wat gave it away_

 

 

 

**Well, I've not really met anyone who uses those 'emotes' like you do and identifies as male. Also, something about what you say seems to give me the 'girl' vibe. I don't know.**

 

 

 

_~sarcasm~_

 

 

 

**Oh**

 

**You know that's really hard to pick up through text?**

 

 

 

 

 

{5:24pm 2nd of October}

 

_How do u get food dye out of white wool? (_ _ಥ_ _﹏_ _ಥ_ _)_

 

 

**…**

 

**You sound like you're in a predicament**

 

 

 

_If u count 'spilling an entire bottle of red food colouring onto urself and it goes through ur apron onto ur older sis's fav white woollen turtleneck that u weren't supposed to wear but u did anyway' a predicament_

 

_then yea_

 

_im in a prediciment_

 

 

 

**Sponge it with water first**

 

 

 

_Done that_

 

 

 

**Add a bit of white vinegar to the water and keep going**

 

 

_…_

 

_its working_

 

 

 

**When you can't get anymore out, flush it with water.**

 

**I don't know how much you'll be able to get out.**

 

 

 

 

 

{5:31pm 2nd of October} PM between _the saviour_ and _Mystery Girl (argh)_

 

_omg tysm_

 

_u saved my butt big time_

 

 

**That’s quite a sentence there.**

 

 

_never thought id be sayin ty to zane ro'maeve but ok that just happened_

_my friends would probably be concerned._

 

 

**Should I be insulted?**

 

 

_probs_

 

_but r u?_

 

 

**No**

 

 

_then there we go_

 

 

**Because I 'saved your butt big-time' can I ask another question about you?**

 

 

_alright_

 

_but this is the last one u get for a while_

 

 

**"for a while"?**

 

 

_yes_

 

 

**Ok…**

 

**Home room?**

 

 

_Damn_

 

 

**What?**

 

 

_im.._

 

_in the same one as u_

 

 

**Wait what. Are you kidding?**

 

 

_no_

 

 

**Well that narrowed it down significantly**

 

 

_i am never answering ur questions again._

 

 

 

 

 

{12:22pm 4th October} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (argh)_

 

**There are four girls in homeroom class with hair coinciding with red.**

 

 

 

 

 

{11:32pm 15th of October} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (argh)_

 

_do u ever…_

 

_like_

 

_struggle to be heard?_

 

 

**What do you mean by that?**

 

 

_like_

 

_do u ever feel like people just associate u with ur family or friends and don't even bother to recognise u for ur own accomplishments or decisions?_

 

_not that they want you to be like them_

 

_just that they don’t acknowledge that u r ur own person_

 

_not someones friend or daughter or sister_

 

_i mean_

 

_brother or son or whatever_

 

 

 

**Sometimes.**

 

**It's usually just 'Garroth's Brother' or 'Garte's son"**

 

**…**

 

**I hate the letter g**

 

 

_…_

 

_hehe_

 

 

 

**What?**

 

 

 

_ur so angsty_

 

 

 

**…**

 

 

**I'm leaving**

 

 

 

_aww come on!_

 

 

 

**You realise who you’re 'aww'-ing right?**

 

 

 

_yes and im questioning a lot right now but i cant help it_

 

 

 

 

{9:02am 19th of October} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (@#!#@)_

 

**Boo**

 

 

 

{12:34pm 19th of October} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (@#!#@)_

 

_halloween is in 12 days_

 

_ur a bit early_

 

 

**I was trying to make your phone ping in class**

 

 

_ha_

 

_i didn't have my phone in class then._

 

_foiled again by the great-_

 

_…_

 

_i was about to say my name_

 

 

 

**Damn**

 

**By the way, if you don't want to tell me who you are, what should I call you?**

 

 

_when will u call me anything anyway?_

 

 

**Would you rather I started conversation with 'hey you'?**

 

 

_i didnt realise we'd b continuing conversation in general_

 

 

**Oh, right.**

 

**I supposed not.**

 

 

_but_

 

_i mean_

 

_if u want to_

 

_i don’t mind_

 

_its kinda nice having someone to just talk to…_

 

 

**Yeah.**

 

**I think I would like to talk to you sometimes**

 

 

_ok_

 

_…_

 

_u can call me Nana_

 

 

**Alright**

 

**…Nana**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is done!
> 
> just a reminder that this is a canon-divergence AU, so the world and most events are the same, but lots of different things will happen.
> 
> Love,
> 
> ~Wishful


	3. 4am Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chats continue. I'm channelling my sadness that Halloween is over :c

{4:31am 1st November} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (@#!#@)_

 

_3:_

 

 

**What does that face mean**

 

 

_sad kitty_

 

_obviously_

 

 

**Obviously?**

  1. **Why would I assume that you'd send me a sad emote**
  2. **You're not a cat?!**
  3. **It's 4:31am why are you awake**



 

 

  1. _COZ HALLOWEEN IS OVR AND THATSHORRIBLE_
  2. _uhm black cats and halloween? i guess? its cute?_
  3. _y r /U/ awake (i was making 4am cookies because I woke up sad coz halloween is over)_



 

 

**You like halloween?**

 

 

_DUH! Who doesn't?!?!?_

 

_*GASP*_

 

_/DO YOU NOT LIKE IT??!?!?!?!??!?!/_

 

 

 

**Pshh, excuse me?**

 

**Do you know who your talking to?**

 

 

 

_o yeah_

 

_egdelord of darkness etc_

 

 

 

**…**

 

**If that’s how you wanna put it**

 

 

 

_But seriously_

 

_How can u not be sad_

 

_NO MORE SWEETS_

 

_Or.._

 

_I can still make those I guess_

 

_but /CANDY/_

 

_AND /COSTUMES/_

 

_AND /SPOOKY VIBES/_

 

_AND /THE CHARMING AND HAPPY SENSE OF COMMUNITY THAT COMES WITH PEOPLE SHARING CANDY AND COMPLIMENTING COSTUMES AND ADMIRING DECORATIONS AND THE ADORABLE SQUEALS OF YOUNG CHILDREN ON THE LAST EVENING OF OCTOBER/_

 

_AND_

 

_GUMMY_

 

_/FANGS/_

 

 

**Gummy fangs?**

 

 

_GUMMY FANGS_

 

_*happy screams forever*_

 

 

**I'm extremely confused.**

 

 

_Gummy fangs aside_

 

_Rnt al those thing sAMAZING?_

 

 

 

**Some of them are cool**

 

**But I'm not exactly bursting in anticipation for next year's Halloween already, like I can only assume you are after what I've just witnessed**

 

 

 

_Nah_

 

 

 

**Oh, so you're not completely insane.**

 

**Great to know**

 

 

 

_Tee hee_

 

_u know why?_

 

 

 

**Uuhhh…**

 

**Why?**

 

 

 

_IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS!!! :D <3 \\(^o^)/ _

 

 

 

**Are you kidding**

 

 

 

_Heehee_

 

_Kinda?_

 

_I'm not quite sure anymore. >w<_

 

 

 

**Ok**

 

**Are your cookies done?**

 

 

 

_Yeah! i was trying a new recipe to see if theres anyway to make mine better_

 

 

 

**Wow, so it /is/ possible to be productive at 5am**

 

**Anyway, go to bed**

 

 

_i will!_

 

_im just finishing cleaning up_

 

 

 

 

{4:59am 1st of November} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Mystery Girl (who apparently doesn't sleep)_

 

_…_

 

_Why were /you/ awake at 4:30?_

 

 

 

**…**

 

**i… was…**

 

 

 

_No lying_

 

 

 

**Tsk. Fine, I was trying to find contact info for the four girls in our class that have hair with red in it.**

 

 

_R u serious_

 

 

**Yeah**

 

 

_I thought ud be bingeing stranger things or playing an rpg or even looking at Death Note fanart ro smthin_

 

 

**Wow, you've got a pretty good idea of what I'm like.**

 

**(definitely more of a Seraph of the End kinda guy than Death Note but sure)**

 

**But yeah**

 

**I'm still determined to find out who you are.**

 

**Don’t think your Halloween/Christmas talk had got me distracted.**

 

 

 

_(I've been meaning to watch that one!)_

 

_Aw_

 

_Its ok, ull probably figure it out soon enough!_

 

_(Oh)_

 

_(I really don't liekt he sound of that)_

 

_Uhhhhhhh_

 

_*Optimism*_

 

 

 

**Nice save**

 

**You fill me with such confidence**

 

**'~sarcasm~'**

 

 

 

_im going to bed_

 

_Gn_

 

 

 

**Finally. You really should be sleeping.**

 

**Good Night.**

 

***morning**

 

 

 

_tru_

 

 

 

 

 

 

{5:30am 1st of November} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Nana (??)_

 

 

**Hey Nana?**

 

 

 

_yeas?_

 

 

 

**How do you…**

 

**You know…**

 

 

 

_?huh?_

 

 

 

**How are you…**

 

**So…**

 

 

 

_thaaaaats a lot of '…'_

 

 

 

**AGH**

 

**HOWAREYOUSOLIKABLE!**

 

 

 

_huh?!_

 

_i am?!_

 

 

 

**Yeah.**

 

**You're always joking around, being funny or 'cute' or whatever.**

 

**But then, when situation calls for it, you can be serious and insightful. You know, 'kind' I guess.**

 

 

 

_um_

 

_Thank you_

 

_i… i guess i don't really think about most of what i do?_

 

_also_

 

_i have empathy_

 

 

 

**You suggesting I don’t?**

 

 

 

_well_

 

_Zane_

 

_if u do u seem to ignore it_

 

_helping me over text that 1 time is the most kind iv ever known u to b_

 

_And then u asked 4 something in return_

 

_i dont mean to b rude but…_

 

 

 

**See**

 

**That’s what I mean**

 

**You tell me what I'm doing something wrong yet it doesn't feel harsh, it feels constructive**

 

**I don't get it.**

 

 

 

_im not sure this is something i can teach u over text_

 

 

 

**How about you teach me in person**

 

 

 

_Ha! im not that stupid_

 

 

**Damn**

 

**I thought I could get you.**

 

 

 

_*sigh*_

 

_i thought u were telling me i shudn't b awake at this time_

 

_y'd u text me then?_

 

 

 

**I had an idea**

 

**And I'm not sure why I'm telling you because it'll probably ruin it but…**

 

**I was going to keep you up**

 

**So you'd be tired tomorrow**

 

**The I'd see who of the four girls was the most tired**

 

**And deduct that it was you**

 

 

 

_yeah_

 

_if u wanted that to work u shudnt have told me_

 

 

 

**What's done is done I suppose**

 

 

 

_im going 2 sleep now_

 

_bai_

 

 

 

**Bye**

 

 

 

 

 

 

{10:43 am 1st November} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Nana (??)_

 

 

**I swear to god…**

 

 

 

_huh?_

 

 

 

**Did you leave cookies with rainbow fucking choc-chips on my desk this morning?!**

 

 

 

_OOooOo~!_

 

_the sugar fairy came!_

 

 

 

**I hate you…**

 

**But…**

 

**Thanks**

 

**They're…**

 

**really good**

 

 

 

_thnx! ^w^_

 

 

 

**Could you…**

 

**Show me sometime?**

 

 

 

_…_

 

_tell u wot_

 

_u ever figure out who i am_

 

_ill teach u_

 

_…_

 

_about other stuff too_

 

 

 

**What makes you think I want to know 'other stuff'**

 

 

 

_empathy_

 

 

 

**What**

 

 

 

_i put myself in ur shoes_

 

_Wondered wat u might want_

 

_=cookies and help_

 

_bu twithout asking_

 

_"/coz that’s embarrassing and I hate asking for help/"_

 

_^u^_

 

 

 

**…**

 

**Update: I /really/ hate you**

 

**You're lucky I kind of like those emotes you send or I'd throw those cookies at your face**

 

 

 

_teehee_

 

_too bad u dont know which face to throw them at_

 

 

 

**I'm miffed**

 

 

 

_u need a new synonym_

 

 

 

**I'm gonna need a whole lot more than /a/ new synonym if this continues**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pros of writing KC texting:  
> I can leave my spelling mistakes and the shortened words I sometimes use when I forget im not messaging someone.
> 
> Cons of writing KC texting:  
> CHARACTERIZATION IS SO MUCH HARDER  
> (this is also because she's acting like herself more (nana) and we still don't know exactly what that's like from the shows)  
> [When in doubt, force yourself to read their lines in their voices]
> 
> (side note; watch 'Seraph of the End'/'Owari no Seraph'. My friend introduced it to me and it's freaking great)
> 
> The plot for this fic I pretty loose. There will be more bants and stuff coming up as they get more comfortable chatting together and hopefully less frequent deep stuff so don’t worry :3)  
> Anyway, thanks for reading, love you all so much <3
> 
> ~Wishful


	4. Oh no, Yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Italics= Zane  
> Bold= Kawaii~Chan  
> Underlined= Katelyn  
> Bold and Italics= Aphmau
> 
> (yes that’s right, those two are in this)

{10:50am 11th of November} PM between _Aphmau <3_ and _Blueberry Princess_

 

i wonder who she's texting

_sent photo:_

((the picture is of Kawaii~Chan giggling at something she’s seen on her phone))

 

**_y dont u ask her?_ **

 

 ** _Kinda strange for you to just take a picture_**  

**_don'tcha think?_ **

 

 

i did she just blushed and said 'a friend'

 

 

**_Oooooooh!_ **

 

**_maybe its a BOY?!?!_ **

 

**_Or girl_ **

 

**_idk who she's into ;3_ **

 

 

im gonna find out who tis

 

 

**_How?_ **

 

 

ima sneak up behind her and take a pic of her screen

 

 

**_thats a bit of an invasion of privacy…_ **

 

**_But i wanna know too!_ **

 

**_I don’t wanna be snooping behind her back…_ **

 

**_if it doesn't work, ill ask her later_ **

 

 

 

It better work, I don't want her to know I'm onto her.

 

 

UUUUHHHHHHHHH?!?!

 

 

**_WHAT?!?!_ **

 

 

i-it's Zane

 

 

**_RO'MAEVE?_ **

 

 

YEA?!?!?

 

 

**_Hold on what_ **

 

**_U SAID SHE WAS BLUSHING_ **

 

**_??????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ **

 

 

Their conversation's so weird too…

 

 

**_?huh?_ **

 

 

Look:

_Sent picture_

 

((the picture is of a conversation on Kawaii~Chan’s phone, seemingly taken from over her shoulder. The conversation is with ‘Zane Ro’Maeve’ and the conversation is as follows: **“You're lucky I kind of like those emotes you send or I'd throw those cookies at your face,** _teehee, too bad u dont know which face to throw them at,_ **I'm miffed** , _u need a new synonym,_ **I'm gonna need a whole lot more than /a/ new synonym if this continues** _”_ )) 

 

 

 

**_im confused…_ **

 

 

me 2

 

I need to figure this out

 

hopefully without confronting either of them

 

 

**_ha_ **

 

**_good luck with that!_ **

 

 

 

 

 

{9:23pm 12th of November} PM between _Zane Ro'Meave_ and _Nana (??)_

 

**What would be the soundtrack to your life?**

 

 

 

_do i get 1 song or multiple_

 

 

 

**Let's start with one.**

 

 

_K_

 

_Uuuuuuhhh_

 

_i havent lived much of my life so far so that’s kida hard_

 

 

**Fine, the past year or so**

 

 

_Lemme think_

 

_…_

 

_Argh this is harder than i thot_

 

_u go first while i think_

 

 

**Oh.**

 

**Um…**

 

**'Oh No' by Marina and the Diamonds**

 

 

_Really?_

 

 

**(insert shrug)**

 

 

_i cant remember how the lyrics go but Im 100% sure its very bouncy and fun_

 

 

**Well the reason I chose it is mostly because of those lyrics.**

 

 

_Mostly?_

 

 

**Look, I don't listen to twenty one pilots and Metallica 24/7.**

 

**I gotta listen to something else of a different calibre sometimes.**

 

 

_Ok i can respect that._

 

_also twenty one pilots are pretty good_

 

 

**Ha, I can just imagine the look of defeat on Garroth's face when I'm finally able to prove that I /can/ name another person who listens to them.**

 

**Of course I need to figure out who you are first.**

 

 

_It always comes back to this huh?_

 

 

**Of course**

 

 

_Too bad im not telling~_

 

_Anyway i have a song_

 

 

**Alright.**

 

 

_Itll probs change but:_

 

_Yesterday_

 

 

**David Guetta?**

 

 

_Feat. Bebe Rehxa_

 

 

**Interesting**

 

 

_DG isnt my usual music choice but i love Bebes voice and the dance break is alright_

 

_Also violin sounds so cool to me_

 

 

**I used to play, when I was younger**

 

 

_Really?_

 

 

**Yeah, got pretty good too**

 

**I didn’t enjoy it though, it was my parent's choice**

 

 

_Ah_

 

_I cn just imagine wittle Zane playing on his wittle violin with his wittle tongue stuck out in concentration!_

 

_…_

 

_Or did u wear that mask back then too?_

 

 

**…**

 

**I refuse to answer you**

 

 

_You just did silly_

 

 

**THAT DOESN'T COUNT**

 

 

_Oops u did it again_

 

 

 

 

 

 

{9:23pm 12th of November} PM between _Twenty one Edgelords_ and _Nana (??)_

 

 

_Um…_

 

_What do you think of_

 

_The girls who could be me?_

 

 

 

**??**

 

**That was out of the blue…?**

 

 

 

_Like…_

 

_In terms of appearance and voice and basically stuff you know/think without knowing what they're really like_

 

_what do you think of each girl that could be me?_

 

 

 

**Oh**

 

**Are you having…**

 

**Esteem issues?**

 

 

 

_Do you have to label it?_

 

 

 

**Fine**

 

 

 

_Please be honest too_

 

_don't 'tread carefully' or whatever they say.._

 

 

 

 

**Okay,**

 

 

**First off**

 

 

 **Nicole, it think that's her name?**  

 

**she's alright.**

 

 

**She's stereotypically attractive with her curves and long hair and whatnot. Her eyes are a bit dull honestly**

 

 

**Fiery, she's got a temper on her, which isn't always a good thing. I don't know if she's very smart either.**

 

 

**I don't know much about her**

 

 

**Uh, the girl with the rainbow hair.**

 

 

**She's very quiet, plain faced.**

 

 

**Doesn't really leave an impression.**

 

 

**Kawaiichan…?? Is that how you spell it?**

 

 

**The name's weird, kinda suits her I suppose?**

 

 

**She's not that weird, just… odd.**

 

 

**All cutesy and squeal-ly. The three bows seem like overkill to me**

 

 

**I get annoyed by her frequently, but people like her so I suppose my opinion doesn't really count.**

 

 

**Her hair is pretty. I like her eyes too. She's a Mei'fwa and I don't really know what they're like but she seems to get distracted easily.**

 

 

**Uhhh, yeah**

 

 

**There's the other pink haired girl, lighter than Kawaiichans, she's much the same as rainbow haired girl.**

 

 

**Doesn't leave much of an impression, quiet and such. Not particularly pretty, not unpleasing to look at. Etc.**

 

**…**

 

**Uh, sorry if I offended you.**

 

 

 

_Don't worry._

 

_U were honest and that’s what I asked for, thanks._

 

 

 

**Um**

 

**If it's any consolation to you Nana, matching you to the face would definitely raise my opinion of whoever you are.**

 

**That didn't make sense, did it?**

 

 

 

_You…_

 

_Like me?_

 

 

 

**Well, yeah.**

 

**You're a good friend to have, to be perfectly honest.**

 

 

 

_:D_

 

_…_

 

_Am I your first friend?_

 

 

 

**Irene, now /I'm/ having esteem issues if /that's/ what you think.**

 

**I have a couple of online friends, then of course there is the Shadow Knights.**

 

**Also as much as I hate to admit it, my first friend was Aphmau.**

 

**Note the 'was'**

 

**As in**

 

**'I'm not her friend anymore because I don't like her'**

 

 

 

_noted_

 

_But just sayin'_

 

_She's really nice and funny_

 

 

**No**

 

 

_Fiiiiiiiine_

 

 

 

 

 

{8:30 13th of November} PM between _Twenty one Edgelords_ and _Nana (??)_

 

**…**

 

**Do you plan on making anymore cookies anytime soon?**

 

 

 

_You craving Ms. Nana's cookies, Mr. Zane?_

 

 

 

**That was weird but yes**

 

 

 

_I'll bring some tomorrow for you :)_

 

 

 

**Thanks**

 

 

 

_What are friends for? :3_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you didn't get confused with Aphmau and Katelyn at the start. thanks for reading! another update soon :3


	5. eyebrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yep  
> i'm back

{15th December 6:34pm} PM between _Twenty one Edgelords_ and _Nana (??)_

 

**Ugh**

 

 

_Wats bugging monsieur edgy today?_

 

 

 

**I'm too busy being perturbed to care about what you just called me**

 

 

 

_Have you been googling synonyms for annoyed?_

 

 

 

**That’s beside the point**

 

**I'm pissed about the class gift exchange.**

 

 

 

_Ah_

 

 

 

**I got kawaiichan and I don't know what the hell to get her.**

 

**And whoever's got me will probably get me something I have no interest or use for.**

 

**What about you, did you get anyone good?**

 

 

 

 

_Just fyi im pretty sure she spells it 'Kawaii~Chan'_

 

_But yeah, igot a good friend of mine so thatll be easy_

 

_i think she's into the anime Fairy Tail so i might get her some merch or something._

 

_but you need advice for what to get KC?_

 

 

 

**Yeah…**

 

 

 

_Hm…_

 

_The other day she told me she really wanted this poster of her favourite show_

 

_i can find the link for you…?_

 

 

 

**That would be awesome actually, thanks**

 

 

 [DIARIES-Poster](https://teespring.com/shop/aphmau-fantasy?aid=marketplace&tsmac=marketplace&tsmic=search#pid=569&cid=102323&sid=front)

 

_here u go_

 

 

 

**Oh**

 

**She likes that show too.**

 

 

 

 

_She said it was her favourite_

 

 

_u like it?_

 

 

 

 

**Yeah, if it's not my favourite it's a very close contender**

 

**It's very well written and the characters never fail to surprise.**

 

 

 

_Kawaii~Chan was telling me that she shipped the main female character with the mysterious black haired guy,_

 

_or whatever she said._

 

_From what she said they sounded like a pretty cute couple._

 

 

 

**Oh yeah, I can see that.**

 

**My favourite character is the black haired guy with the eye who totally dominates everything**

 

 

 

_But everyone hates him._

 

 

 

**So shouldn't /someone/ like him then?**

 

 

 

_…_

 

_Yeah_

 

_iguess you're right_

 

_everyone deserves to have someone who likes them_

 

 

 

**Deep shit right there**

 

 

 

_To be or not to be_

 

 

 

***Cupcakes or cookies**

 

 

 

_the real question right there_

 

 

 

 

 

{December 20th 2:40pm} PM between _Twenty one Edgelords_ and _Nana_

 

 

 

**Why are you so good at baking it's majorly unfair**

 

 

 

_not unfair_

 

_i worked for these skills_

 

 

 

**I hate it when my anger is proved irrational**

 

 

 

_no more fancy words_

 

_my mind is still dead after that test_

 

 

 

  1. **a) that barely counts as a fancy word**
  2. **b) Didn't you study?**



 

 

 

_yeh that doesnt mean i cant be braindead_

 

_im gonna need a serious baking session when i get home_

 

 

 

**Make something with chocolate and hazelnuts**

 

 

 

_Are you making requests now? Hoping ill bring you some?_

 

 

 

**Yes???**

 

 

 

_Fine wdy want_

 

 

 

**Wait really**

 

 

 

_i mean…_

 

_i really shouldnt eat all the food i bake_

 

_At least i know itll be eaten if i give it to you_

 

 

 

**Also? I'm your friend?**

 

 

 

_R u?_

 

 

 

**Dear irene I hope so**

 

**After all this**

 

**Wait haven't we been over this**

 

 

 

_Yep_

 

_im just pulling your leg_

 

_Irene, if my friends knew we were friends…_

 

 

 

**Gee, thanks for the esteem boost**

 

 

 

_ur always welcome ;3_

 

 

 

 

{December 21st 11:01am} PM between _Twenty one Edgelords_ and _Nana_

 

 

 

**So I found the answer to our earlier question**

 

 

 

_??_

 

_Cookies or cake?_

 

_Or whatever it was_

 

 

 

**Yep I found the answer**

 

 

 

_Do tell_

 

 

 

**stacked crepes with choc-hazelnut spread between each one and icing sugar and strawberries on top**

 

**Still warm**

 

 

 

_i take it u enjoyed them_

 

 

 

**I thought you baked last night why were they still warm**

 

**(and yeah, of course)**

 

 

 

_i crashed last night instead but this morning remembered promised food and so made them and wrapped them in foil to keep them warm until school_

 

 

 

**How much do I owe you now, omi**

 

**Actually, scratch that.**

 

**Goodies are payment for my ignorance**

 

 

 

_i was wondering when it would come back to this_

 

 

 

**Someday**

 

**Someday real soon**

 

**I gonna find out who you are**

 

 

_^   ^_

_Well see TwT_

 

 

 

**Ok but were those eyebrows or cat ears**

 

 

_…_

 

 

**Not to ruin your moment or anything**

 

 

_…_

 

_eyebrows_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected hiatus, life happens  
> Here's the latest update  
> Thanks for the support in this story, I love all of you who read this! (there may not be many of you but tbh the fact that there are ANY of you is more than I really deserve)
> 
> Side note, I've added contact names at the beginning of every chat session and this will be updated in the earlier chapters too. I just wanted to ok? :3
> 
> Anyways, Thanks so much again and I'll see u later!  
> love,
> 
> ~Wishful  
> p.s for those who also read Short of Breath, expect an update by Monday


	6. Edgy Teddy Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!! >>*TIME SKIP YALL*<

{February 24th 9:03pm} _PM between Zane/frownyface/edgeboy and Nana_

 

**What do you call an edgy teddy bear?**

 

_Um_

 

_Zane Ro'Maeve_

 

**Ok just for than I refuse to tell you the punchline**

 

_Aw no!_

 

_im sorry! Tell me plzz_

 

 

**No.**

 

_:(_

 

 

 

{February 25th 7:45am} _PM between Edgy Teddy Bear and Nana_

 

 

**Hey whens ur birthday? I want to be alble to PM you a birthday message.**

 

 

_Lmao no telling I know ur just trying to figure out who I am_

 

 

**Was I really that obvious**

 

_I can read u like a book baby_

 

 

**Was that a reference to Ruby Redford**

 

 

_Duh_

 

_Wait you've read those_

 

 

**…**

 

**Will u believe me f I say no?**

 

 

_No_

 

 

**Fine then yes**

 

**They're pretty cool actually**

 

 

_Exactly_

 

 

**But anyways, it's a little sad I can't wish you a happy birthday whenever yours is**

 

 

_Nah its fine._

 

_Maybe you could say it every single day from now on_

 

_That way you'll be right every 1 out of 365 days._

 

**366 in a leap year**

 

_Ha_

 

_Wait isn't ur b-day like really soon?_

 

_In like 3 days actually!!_

 

**How did you know that?**

 

 

_When we became friends last year I thought I could leave u something on ur desk for ur b-day but when I asked the teacher when it was I realised it had already passed._

 

**Oh**

 

**Well yeah. I'm born on the 28th of Feb**

 

_One day later and ur b-day would have been every 4 years lmao talk about cutting it close_

 

 

**I swear to god**

 

**I**

 

**Was not**

 

**Born**

 

**In**

 

**A**

 

**Leap**

 

**Year!!!**

 

**!!!!!!!!!**

 

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1**

 

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

 

 

_Ah my bad_

 

 

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1**

 

 

_Seems I touched a nerve_

 

**you have no idea how many people say that**

 

**It pisses me off endlessly**

 

_…_

 

**And don't you DARE say 'aren't u always endlessly pissed'**

 

 

_Wouldn't dream of it ^w^_

 

 

**Somehow that face doesn't scream innocence at me.**

 

 _;3_  

 

**Ok stop**

 

 

_XP_

 

 

**I swear to god**

 

 

_:DDD_

 

 

**Ok I'm leaving**

 

 

_:?_

 

_:|_

 

_:(_

 

_D:_

 

_> n<_

 

_;n;_

 

 

 

{February 24th1:23 am} _PM between Edgy Teddy Bear and Anne Wheeler_

 

**So I renamed ur contact**

 

_O am I supposed to tell u every time I do that?_

 

_Coz I do that all the time_

 

**Wait what**

 

**_What have you been calling me?!_ **

 

_Well…_

 

_Currently ur Edgy Teddy Bear_

 

_But you've been: frownyface, Twenty-One Edgelords, Monsuier Edgy, It's not a phase_

 

_And many more_

 

 

**I'm sensing a theme**

 

 

_Anyways tell me what you've named me_

 

 

**Oh yeah**

 

 

**Anne Wheeler**

 

**Have you seen the Greatest Showman?**

 

 

_I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!!!_

 

_But why that name?_

 

 

**Well first off you told me your hair coincides with red. Anne wears a pink wig during performances**

 

_This is true_

 

 

**Also I'm not sure why, but just ur personalities remind me of each other.**

 

 

_o?_

 

 

**Yeah. Ur both kinda sassy and kick-ass when u want to be I guess.**

 

 

_Aw thanks_

 

 

**Ur most welcome**

 

 

_I just realised ur beginning to shorten words in ur texts_

 

_Like 'ur' and 'u' etc_

 

**Yeah well I guess ur just rubbing off on me.**

 

 

_:DDD_

 

 

**Oh shush u**

 

**Ur too smug**

 

 

_Always ^w^_

 

 

 

{26th of February 10:39 pm} _PM between Edgy Teddy Bear and Anne Wheeler_

 

**This is gonna sound kinda envasive and you can ignore this, but I'm just curious.**

 

 

_Hey we r friends_

 

_U can ask me anything :3_

 

 

**Well…**

 

**Do you, u know, like anyone?**

 

 

_Huh?_

 

 

**Like do you have a crush on anybody.**

 

 

_Oh_

 

_Yeah_

 

_Yeah I do_

 

 

**Can I ask who?**

 

 

_No u may not,  my dear teddy bear_

 

_now goodday to u good sir_

 

 

**Haha I knew it was a long shot.**

 

**Well goodnight I guess**

 

_Wait_

 

_Do /u/ like someone?_

 

 

**…**

 

**Yes**

 

**Goodnight Nana**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so feb 28th isnt actually Zanes b-day (its mine) just fyi  
> Also who else like Ruby Redford? I can't be the only one here who does. Right?!?!
> 
> And btw there'll be plot soon I promise, I just needed these two to be closer. ;)
> 
> Finally, GREATEST SHOWMAN. AM. I. RIGHT?!?!?
> 
> I listen to the music 23/7 and the extra hour is when it's stuck in my head
> 
> But anyways thanks for reading!!
> 
> I've been drawing heaps of Zana stuff and will put on my DeviantArt soon so head over there with this link:  
> https://01wishfulthinking10.deviantart.com/
> 
> Until next time my lovelies;
> 
>  
> 
> -Wishful


	7. Disagreements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is shorter than usual.

{February 28th 10:21am} _PM between Edgy Teddy Bear and Nana_

 

**Thanks for the cake**

 

 

_Np, happy birthday!!_

 

 

**Red velvet is my favourite, how did you know?**

 

 

_Hehe, lucky guess._

 

 

 

 

{March 3rd 10:59pm} _PM between Edgy Bear and Nana_

 

_I just realised I could have made a pun with ur contact name_

 

**The edgy teddy bear one?**

 

_Yeah! I could do Edgy bear_

 

**Ah**

 

_Bettr late than never iguess_

 

**Sure.**

 

 

_Anyways, I wanted to ask u smthin_

 

**Shoot**

 

_So why do u try so hard to fit into the shadowknights?_

 

 

**Oh**

 

**Well because they're cool I guess**

 

_No they r not_

 

**Yes they are.**

 

_How are they cool????_

 

**How arent they??**

 

_Uh??? Wagging, bullying, breaking the law? That’s cool?_

 

**In some ways, yeah.**

 

_No!_

 

_It's not cool!_

 

_My friend was blackmailed by them and it very nearly ruined some really important friendships._

 

_They regularly graffiti, which is against. The. Law._

 

 

**I guess you just don't understand**

 

 

_No, I think it's you who doesn’t_

 

 

**Ugh can we please just drop this**

 

**You obviously don’t get it. You're not going through what me and the Shadow Knights are.**

 

 

_Unbelievable._

 

_You really think that just because the majority of people don't break the rules means that the minority who do are just the ones who're 'going through' stuff???_

 

_No_

 

_We just deal with it in ways that don't destroy other people's lives._

 

_Ttyl_

 

 

 

{March 14th 11:54pm} _PM between Zane and Nana_

 

**Look, im sorry.**

 

**I guess I didn't think about it from that POV**

 

**But I've got noone else.**

 

**And I always feel trapped. I think they do too.**

 

**Doing those things, like breaking law and rules and blackmailing…**

 

**I'm not sure if you'll get it but it brings a sense of freedom with it. Freedom and control over your own life and choices.**

**I try so hard to be in their group because I want to feel like I belong somewhere,**

 

**And if they're feeling the same way as I do, then I gotta belong with them, right?**

 

 

 

 

{March 16th 4:32am} _PM between Zane and Nana_

 

 

_You have me_

 

 

 

**Huh?**

 

 

 

_You said you have noone else but the shadowknights but thats not true_

 

_You've got me_

 

 

 

**Yeah, but Nana. Who are you?**

 

**I don't even know your real name**

 

 

 

_I guess that’s the funny thing though_

 

_You do know my real name. you're the only one at school who does_

 

 

 

**What are you talking about**

 

 

_My real name is Nana_

 

_I_

 

_I go by anohter name most of the time though._

 

 

 

**Oh**

 

 

 

_Im sorry too Zane_

 

_I also didn’t thiink about it from your POV_

 

_But what the Shadow Knights are doing isn't right. There are other ways to take control of your own life without hurting other people or breaking good rules._

 

_I should know._

 

 

 

**I don't know what that means but im guessing you wont tell me**

 

 

 

_It has something to with my used name._

 

 

_But zane, are you still gonna try join the Shadow Knights?_

 

 

 

**Id be lying if I said no.**

 

 

_…_

 

_Just please don't hurt anyone_

 

_My friend who was blackmailed… she told me…_

 

_Doesn't matter._

 

_Ttyl Zane_

 

 

**Ok.**

 

**Btw what were you doing up this early? You woke me up**

 

 

_Sorry._

 

_And I was baking, what else_

 

 

**4am cookies?**

 

 

_4am cookies._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their conversation went from puns to its not a phase in like 2 seconds
> 
> Zane was the one to apologise? I wonder what this means?? *giggles to myself coz I know exactly whats gonna happen in this story*
> 
> This is only the tip of the pile of angst ive got instore (and forgot to tag, whoops. I better do that now)
> 
> Thanks for all the support I've received. This fandom isnt very big compared to some, especially on Ao3, so I was expecting p much nothing when it came to feedback. But the people who comment just to say they liked the chapter? Thank you so much! You always make my day :D   
> Thanks for the Kudos too, I love getting the emails >w<
> 
> Finally, quick shout out to CasReadsThings! They're writing some hilarious, awesome stuff and I reckon yall should head over to their page and read some Zane~Chan or Miraculous (If ur in that fandom) stories for ur soul coz DAMN. SO. GOOD!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasReadsThings/pseuds/CasReadsThings
> 
> Anyways, that’s all from me. thanks as always!  
> Love,
> 
>  
> 
> ~Wishful


	8. Forlorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *zooms back from the ether* waddup
> 
> angst ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REMINDER (bc ive been gone so long):  
> Bold= Zane  
> italics= Kawaii~Chan  
> Underlined= Katelyn  
> Bold and Italics= Aphmau
> 
> Smol warning for minor swearing (so like, one word is said)

{March 17th 3:02pm} _PM between Aphmau~Senpai <3 and Cupcake Queen_

 

**_Hey KC! R u ok? It seems like you've been kinda down lately…._ **

 

_Im ok! Thanks for worrying about me senpai!!_

 

**_Your welcome! But are you sure?_ **

 

_Yep. I had an argument with a friend the other day but I think we've sorted it out a little. Im just a bit upset still._

 

**_Aw, that’s never fun :(_ **

 

**_Let me know if you want to talk about it or anything!_ **

 

_Ok!  Thnx again :3_

 

 

 

 

 

{March 17th 3:02pm} _PM between Aphmau <3_ and _Blueberry Princess_

 

**_You noticed Kawaii~Chan looking kinda sad lately?_ **

 

 

From what I've seen of her the past couple of days, yeah kinda.

 

 

**_I tried to ask her about it but all sh ewould say about it was that she'd had an argument with a friend. :(_ **

 

 

Do u think…

 

 

**_What?_ **

 

 

Zane?

 

 

**_Huh?_ **

 

 ** _OH  
_**  

**_/OH/_ **

 

**_Maybe?!?!?!?!_ **

 

 

Hmmmm

 

I think it may be time we got the truth out of her.

 

 

**_Sure, but how?_ **

 

 

Truth or dare. I'll see if we can have a sleepover at my house this weekend!

 

 

**_Ooooh!!!! Sounds like fun!!!_ **

 

**_It might nott work but it's worth a try._ **

 

 

Exactly!

 

I'll text her and I'll do it a bit later so it doesn't seem so suspicious.

 

 

**_Go 4 it! We can make sure she has a good time there as well so that we'll be killing two birds with one stone._ **

 

 

You've been bursting to use that phrase, huh?

 

 

**_Shut up >w<_ **

 

 

 

 

 

{March 17th 4:03pm} _PM between Zane and Im sorry Nana_

 

 

 

**Hey?**

 

**Whats up?...**

 

 

 

 

{March 17th 4:15pm} _PM between Zane and Im sorry Nana_

****

 

**Nana?**

 

 

 

 

 

{March 17th 4:55pm} _PM between Katelyn~Sama :D and Kawaii~Chan <3_

 

Hey KC!

 

So my dad and my brothers are all going to be away for Saturday night this weekend and I was thinking of having a couple of friends over for a sleepover! Can you come?

 

 

_That sounds like fun Katelyn~Sama!_ _(^o^)/_

 

_I'll be there!_

 

 

Awesome! I'll make some special treats for us, my dad has this great recipe that I've been wanting to try.

 

Anyway, I'll send you the deets later, k?

 

 

_Sounds great!_

 

 

 

{March 19th 8:31pm} _Group chat between Blueberry Princess and Cupcake Queen and Aphmau~Senpai <3_

 

_That was fun, thank you Aphmau~Senpai and Katelyn~Sama! <3333_

 

 

**_Np I had heaps of fun :3_ **

 

 

Yeah, except for the whole incident with Travis and Garroth. I still don't understand what they were doing up in that tree.

 

 

**_Yeah… at least we got to play a fun game with them though!_ **

 

 

_Very true Aphmau~Senpai! Sorry we didn't get time to play truth or dare. I know you really wanted to :(_

 

 

**_Hehe, don't worry about it Kawaii~Chan._ **

 

 

Next time.

 

 

**_Anyway, I need to finish of some homework for school tomorrow. This maths test I'm revising for will be the death of me LOL._ **

 

 

Haha, good luck! Kasey is trying to tell me something so I better go too.

 

 

_See you both tomorrow!_

 

 

**_Night!_ **

 

 

Night.

 

 

 

 

{March 22th 11:31pm} _PM between Zane Ro'Maeve and Where for art thou Nana?_

 

**Nana look Im sorry**

 

**I don’t know what to do**

 

**The shadow knights have rejected me completely, they’ll never accept me now**

 

**I messed up really bad**

 

**With you**

 

**And well…**

 

**I miss you**

 

 

{March 22th 11:42pm} _PM between Zane Ro'Maeve and Where for art thou Nana?_

 

**Every day is a struggle knowing theres no messages from you or any future conversations to look forward to.**

 

**Im so alone**

 

**But don’t come back out of pity, I don’t deserve that, I don’t deserve your pity.**

 

 

 

{March 23rd 9:08am} _PM between Zane Ro'Maeve and Her_

 

 

_Good to know im still your second choice_

 

 

**That’s not what I meant**

 

 

_Sure_

 

 

**Nana im selfish**

 

**Im a selfish jerk**

 

**I never did and never will deserve your friendship**

 

**Just know it means so much to me that you gave me a chance to begin with**

 

**Im sorry**

 

**Im sorry I didn’t listen**

 

**Im sorry I didn’t… yknow, empathise before I went and made my dumb decisions**

 

**I guess weve established im bad at that shit**

 

**And yea, sorry if I just broke the unsaid no swearing rule of our chat**

 

**But it’s a really shitty thing that ive done.**

 

**So im sorry**

 

 

 

{March 23rd 3:05pm} _PM between Zane Ro'Maeve and Her_

 

_Irene you can dish out a paragraph and a half_

 

 

**Sorry**

 

 

_Stop saying that_

 

 

**_s*rry_ **

 

 

 

{April 5th 10:26am} _PM between Zane Ro'Maeve and What is Love_

 

**Thanks for the truffles**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi im back (plz don’t hit me I know ive been gone for almost a year im terrible)
> 
> This was very hard to write  
> Very  
> very  
> Hard  
> Angst messes with me, especially when I can’t write it in my usual style (style? I guess I just mean my meaningless flow of consciousness I often splurt out and make into one-shots and drabbles)  
> Incase yall didn't know, I make a lot of references to PDH episodes and minigames in this fic. I frequently rewatch old Aphmau vids so I'm bursting with references I'm dying to make. This one in particular is very strongly linked to a murder minigame video called 'Spying Travis- Angry Katelyn'.
> 
> Tysm to all the sweet people who left kudos and comments during my unplanned and unreasonably long hiatus. <3
> 
> Love,
> 
> ~Wishful
> 
> Check me out on twitter and deviantart!
> 
> https://twitter.com/justWishful5  
> https://01wishfulthinking10.deviantart.com


	9. Smithereens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back >wT
> 
> >>>>> Time Skip :| <<<<<  
> (also twenty one pilots, sorry, not sorry)
> 
> reminder:  
> Bold=Zane  
> Italics=Kawaii~Chan|Nana

{November 15th 8:43pm} _PM between Pet Cheetah :3 and Morph_

 

_"You know, I've always been collected, calm and chill"_

 

 

**"you know, I never look for conflict for the thrill"**

 

 

_"But if I'm feeling someone stepping towards you, Can't describe just what I'm feeling."_

 

 

**"For you, I'd go step to a dude much bigger than me"**

 

 

_"For you, I know I would get messed up, weigh 153"_

 

 

 **"For you I would get beat to smithereens.** _"_

 

 

_its such a amazing song omi_

 

 

**Its such an amazing /album/**

 

 

_theyre such an amazing band!!_

 

 

**I got tickets to see them**

 

 

_WHAT_

 

_/!!WHAT?!?!?!/_

 

 

**I got tickets to see them**

 

 

_@the universe: plz me too_

 

 

**Lmao sorry**

 

**I clicked so fast, I was NOT going to miss out on seeing the legends themselves TWENTY ONE PILOTS in /REAL LIFE/**

 

 

︵‿︵(´ ͡༎ຶ ͜ʖ ͡༎ຶ `)︵‿︵

 

 

**Oh that’s a truly horrifying face**

 

 

_Only ugly-crying over here rn_

 

_also_

 

_Was that an intentionall pun?_

 

 

**?**

 

_"the /legend/s themselves"?_

 

 

**Im unintentionally hilarious**

 

 

 

{November 30th 9:01pm} _PM between in-Zane and Nana_

 

**It was amazing**

 

 

_Im going to die_

 

_I wanted to go soooooo bad!!!_

 

 

 **¯\\_(** **ツ** **)_/¯**

 

 

 _*le gasp*_ (ʘᗩʘ’)

 

 

_U_

 

_USED_

 

_EMOTICONS_

 

 _(_ ◯ _Δ_ ◯∥ _)_

 

_(I mean, it was kinda basic but still)_

 

 _(*_ _￣_ _□_ _￣_ _*;)_

 

_(-~-)_

 

 _(_ _๑_ _˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و yeeessss_

 

 

 

**_Oh shush you (lol)_ **

 

 

 

 

{December 19th 5:41pm} _PM between Zane and Nana_

 

 

**We…**

 

**We don't really talk as much as we used to, huh?**

 

 

 

_Guess not_

 

 

**I really messed up, huh?**

 

 

_Idk zane_

 

_I just find it hard to be excited to be talking to you all the time when I think about the things people have done, people you approve of._

 

_Things you'd partake in._

 

 

 

**Nana…**

 

 

 

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

 

 

Zane's pale, freckle-speckled fingers go loose around the phone and it drops to grey carpet of his room with a soft thud. Sitting on the edge of his bed with its black bedspread, he drops his head into his hands, his soft black hair tickling his face.

"what…?"

 

He lifts his head and looks out the large window opposite him, looking out onto the backyard where he can see Garroth and Aphmau happily chatting over the fence at each other. They laugh together, Garroth's thrown head back, eyebrows pulled up, mouth wide open. He's annoyingly good looking and Zane happens to know that he laughs the same way when something is truly funny to him. Would Nana think it was a good laugh? Would she like him like that, instead of like he was over text?

 

"What will it take Nana?" he says softly, listening to his voice say her name as only he was allowed to hear it; free of sarcasm and scathing comments. Just raw Zane Ro'Meave. "What will it take to go back to where we were? Or move onto something better?"

 

He starts typing, deletes it, tries again.

Nothing sounds right.

Nothing seems genuine enough.

 

He starts pacing around his room, kicking his desk chair, knocking books off his shelf before stopping in front of the mirror.

He looks at his black and grey striped turtleneck shirt, his ripped black skinny jeans, with their silver chain accessories, rolled up and the ends over black Doc Martens. The black fingerless gloves and the collection of face masks strewn along the dressing table nearby. He looks at his face, thick black under-eyeliner, practiced to perfection, highlighting his icy blue eye. His hair, which he straightens each morning to rid himself of the loose waves he shares with his brothers, the only similarity in their hair that they share. He sees his pale skin, covered with the dark freckles that he hates so much that reach all over his body, despite the little sunlight he subjects himself to.

He sees what other people see. The bad.

 

 _Am I doomed to this? Will I always just be 'this guy'?_ Zane thinks to himself.

 _I've tried. I_ do _try. But each time, something comes through to push me back. Maybe I'm meant to be the one that makes others look better._

_But if I'm not happy, can that be right?_

 

He's so deep in thought that he doesn’t hear the thuds coming up the stairs until Garroth bursts through the door, Aphmau following giddily, deep in laughter. He doesn't notice the tears starting to fall down his face, or the absence for his mask.

 

"Hey baby brother! We wanna play a game and we need a fourth-"

 

Zane turns to face him, intent on slamming the door in his face but stops when he sees their faces.

That’s when he realises how he looks to them, eyeliner smudged and tears freefalling, easily seen with his face exposed.

A moment passes in awkward silence.

 

"Zane?" Garroth asks softly, kinder that he's spoken to Zane for a while "Are you-"

 

A loud, shrill 'meow' comes from Aphmau's direction, who pulls out her phone, apparently having received a message.

 

"Kawaii~Chan's outside" she says quietly, not meeting Zane's eye, and turns to Garroth "we might still be able to play with only 3 people…"

 

Kawaii~Chan.

She was so unlike Nana in so many ways but SO like her in others, it messed with Zane's head.

 

"S-Sorry Zane, we'll just-" Garroth begins closing the door, Aphmau goes downstairs to answer the door.

 

"I'll be down in 5 minutes" Zane says, putting effort into making his voice level and calm.

Garroth's cerulean eyes widen before giving a nod to his brother, concern riddled in his features as he closes the door with a soft click.

 

Zane turns back to the mirror, using a tissue to wipe away the smudged make-up.

He reaches for a mask before changing his mind, instead wrapping a solid black scarf loosely around his neck.

Looking into his pale, pale eye he makes up his mind.

 

He's getting to the bottom of this.

He needs her, and how can he really show that over text?

He needs to do this.

He will find out who Nana is.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144185736@N04/45679802004/in/dateposted-public/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hath't didst returneth!  
> (I'm back)
> 
> how are you all? im so sorry to keep you waiting for so long :(  
> (and only gave you a mostly serious chapter, I'm sorry!)
> 
> did something different with this one, let me know what you thought.  
> THe drawing was a last minute thing i whipped up at top speed, let me know if you liked it and i'll put more drawings ing (and i'll spend more time doing it lmao)
> 
> The next chapter will be mostly non-texting.  
> in fact, we're reaching the end soonish and there is some serious story-telling i need to do and will probably need to do mostly without text but i'll still put some in there. after all, thats how this fic started out.
> 
> overall, let me know what you think of this chapter. i lost the draft when my computer broke after hte last chapter, so it's completely different from what i originally planned but i'm happy with it.
> 
> sorry, i'm rambling, i'll let you go now :3
> 
> thanks for reading! please leave a comment <3
> 
> Love,
> 
> ~Wishful
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. please listen to the album 'Trench' by twenty one pilots if you haven't already, i love it so much i can't choose a favourite song. its just amazing, trust me.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my DeviantArt! https://01wishfulthinking10.deviantart.com/  
> Please comment, I love hearing from you no matter whatever you're saying (talk to me bout the weather even, idc) :D


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